World

Expectations kill you- this was my Facebook status a few months back.

I made a statement. I thought I understood the fact mentioned on MY status. But it seemed that it was just a thought that was fleeting momentarily like plenty of other thoughts that crowd my mind.  Right now, I sat down with my legs crossed, thinking I would be able to achieve what I tend to write. It is all so confusing.

Life itself is confusing. I wish I was happier, I wish I was living in the mountains with free Wifi and Instagram and a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows to burn later when the moon was us in the sky on bonfire. A nice dog- probably a Tibetan Mastiff and a hammock for warm days along with my favorite book underneath an apple tree. I am full of complaints. People who follow me on social networking sites think that I live an awesome life, with all the travelling, the new pixie haircut, and the photos that I share- but in reality I am like an empty shell inside. I love how the girl living in Thailand soaks up the sun under a big umbrella in the beach every day. I envy the guy who knows how to cook and posts pictures of delicious food every day. I wish I had a healthy body- not slim and skinny. I wished for so long time ago but with time I had to get used to the love handles that bulge every time I wear the XS underwear that I own. And I still can’t get myself to go to the Small or Medium sections of a clothing store. I landed myself in a new workplace. Full of warm and happy faces. Its amazing, keeps me busy and on my toes. I wish my lover boy living in the other side of the world would come, give me a hug and plant a kiss on my cheeks and tell me that we were together for once- for real. It is not a happy feeling- to be plugged into the walls.

This is just me rambling about everything that comes into my mind.